What's black on top & white at the bottom? 85% of rape's
Guy is in bed & feeling horny decide's to slip under the bed sheet's & wake up his wife by going down on her, she moan's, quiver's, & cum's all over his face, he then goes to the bathroom to wash up & see's his wife in the bathroom brushing her teeth, "how did you get in here so quick?" she replies "ssshhhhh you will wake your mum"
Paddy with two burnt ears went to the doctors who asked....
'What happened?' said the doctor,
'The phone rang and i accidently picked up the iron' said Paddy,
'What happened to the other one?' said the doctor,
'B*stards called back!' said Paddy
A man was sunbathing naked at the beach, for the sake of civility & to keep them from getting sunburned he had a hat over his privates, a woman walks past & says, snickering, 'if you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat.' He raised an eyebrow and replied, 'if you weren't so ugly it would lift itself!'
An Irish bloke takes his mates back to his new flat, after a few beers one of the lads asks him "what's the big brass gong hanging on the wall?" Paddy say's "its my speaking clock!"........his mate replies " how does that work then?" "I'll show you" he says, & he hit's it full pelt with a claw hammer, and a voice from next door yell's "FOR F*CK SAKE YOU C*NT ITS TWENTY TO THREE IN THE MORNING!!"
Women's first thought when coming across a skid mark in the toilet: Eeww! That's horrible; I must get cleaning equipment before I can use this...
Men's first thought when coming across a skid mark in the toilet:
Hmmm... Can I remove this with the contents of my bladder?
I used to hate wedding's, all the old dear's would poke me and say "you're next..." they soon stopped when I started saying the same to them at funerals.
I've just been to the petrol station, walked upto the window and said i'll have a kitkat chunky... the bird come's back and put's a kitkat chunky on the counter, I said I asked for a f*cking kitkat you useless fat b*tch!
Just a few to start with...
RidinSoLow 
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Subject: The Joke Thread 
